Where do I go from here?

Redirecting... again

2009-12-13T05:08:00.004-06:00

Hey, if you're still out there I've moved the contents of this blog and started posting to it agian with my random... brain farts (for lack of a better term.)

If you're into that sort of thing.

http://yeleannaes.wordpress.com/

Redirecting

2009-08-24T23:48:00.002-06:00

Hello, all. Anyone?

I've sadly neglected this blog for a while now.

In 2009 recap. The business aviation market took a nose dive. I took voluntary lay off. And, now I'm scheduled to leave for New Zealand in little over a month. I'll be doing a 6 month program with YWAM (Youth With a Mission) called a DTS (Discipleship Training School). It is my goal to write about my experiences there in a new blog found here: iamseeley.wordpress.com. Please come visit me there.

The Rumpus Room

2008-09-23T16:22:00.004-06:00

flickr

2008-04-29T20:51:00.001-06:00

Late
Originally uploaded by yeleannaes

Here are some pictures that I took last Saturday around Wichita. The mission was to take pictures to show in Church on Sunday while we sang "God of this City" by Chris Tomlin. Angela and John joined me for a little adventure through down town.

[C] [2]

2008-03-12T14:51:00.002-06:00

(wirrr...crinkle...plunk...)

All grown up.

2008-02-08T15:02:00.003-06:00

I live in my own apartment, cook my own food and pay my bills. I go to work every day and sit in a cubicle. I answer my phone and make engineering like decisions. I fill my Jeep up with gas. I vote and pay taxes. I have a loan. I buy toilet paper... And yet, some days I still have to convince myself that I'm not just a little girl playing house, that my mom will be here shortly to take me home and all the fun will be over.

Crazy Normal

2008-01-25T13:23:00.001-06:00

Today I reminded my self, for the umpteenth time, not to move my lips when talking to my self. Later, I tried to get out of my Jeep without undoing the buckle. Now, I'm exposing these secrets in a public blog. I wonder, am I normal? What is normal? Normal is the parts of our crazy we have collectedly decided its ok to show the world. Maybe we're all just crazy normal.

Shimmy Down With the Fire Gang

2008-01-06T22:38:00.000-06:00

This weekend has not been ideal. And yet, I find my self on this Sunday night... smiling. I can be pretty silly sometimes. I worry that I let too much silly show. I wonder, "should I have shared that?" I am me. Who am I? *shrug* Oh well... I'll figure it out.

"Every thing's dancing"
~Sarah

Peace

2007-12-25T20:27:00.000-06:00

I have peace. I don't have everything thing I want, but I have all that I need. I don't know where I'm going, but I am greatful for where I've been. I am surrounded by people who love me. Thank you, Lord, for making my life what it is. Thank you for making me who I am. Thank you for Peace.

Hearing Things

2007-12-17T22:50:00.000-06:00

Do you hear that sound? The gentle "tshshsh" as the sand flows steadily through the hour glass. It speaks to me, it says ... "wait."

Don't be so

2007-11-18T23:32:00.000-06:00

Get back up, shake it off
Take a breath, deeper now
Tears are not welcome here this time

Chasing your thoughts and fears
Just what is happening here?
You’re the one who always seems to have it figured out
Looks like you could use a few… words of friendly advice

Don’t be so scared, you’re doing fine
Don’t be so hurried, you’re next in line
Don’t be so worried, you’ll be alright

You’re asking us to pray for you
That’s what we intend to do
Whether or not it’s meant to be
Keep your faith and tenacity (don’t lose your tenacity)
Cuz it’s not we, and it’s not you, who’s going to save the day
Looks like you could use a few… words of friendly advice

Running around, chasing around, running around in circles
Running, chasing, thinking, hoping, triple-check, investigating

Vis-à-vis your anxiety
Here’s a friend’s advice
~Downhere, "Don't be so"

Keeping it simple

2007-11-14T21:35:00.000-06:00

I hit a deer with my two week old Jeep Wrangler about 4 weeks ago. A week and a half ago it went into the shop to be fixed (someday I'll post pictures.) Other than the few tears I shed the night it happened, this really hasn't phased me. Part of me says this is what I get for buying a new car when my old one was a perfectly fine vehicle. The other part wonders what would have happened if I had hit the deer with my bug. Either way, God has humbled me and taught me not to rely on my possessions.

On the bright side, I have three amazing friends here who have been more than happy to cart my sorry hide all over this town. These people are a gift from God. Six months ago I was traveling around Italy with out a clue as to what my life would shortly turn into. Wondering how I was going to survive without the friends whom I had come to love so dearly. Now, I'm just a tiny bit sad that the Holidays are about to take me away from the people I have just started to get to know. Oh well, they will make January a little less depressing.

What I do at work all day

2007-11-06T09:12:00.000-06:00

That's nothing. Yesterday I had 37 emails in my inbox when I left at the end of the day. I'm afraid the email police are going to come hunt us down. What do you suppose we should charge this time to? "Meetings not applicable to project"?

Anna Seeley

From: Cheek, John
Sent: Thursday, October 25, 2007 11:30 AM
To: Harris, Eliza; Seeley, Anna; Steele, Angela
Subject: RE: Tip of the day.

Well, this is a pleasant surprise! I get back from “training” and there are …let me count them…13 new emails. Sorry I missed lunch, but I’ll be there at 4:30. And I’m all for the shirts. I planned on running tomorrow, unless everyone bails.

Thanks,
John Cheek

From: Steele, Angela
Sent: Thursday, October 25, 2007 11:14 AM
To: Harris, Eliza; Seeley, Anna; Cheek, John
Subject: RE: Tip of the day.

Yes! I love that company! I have a shirt (“Irrational but well-rounded” on the back with pi on the front) and some ear rings (also pi) from them!

Angela Steele

From: Harris, Eliza
Sent: Thursday, October 25, 2007 11:13 AM
To: Steele, Angela; Seeley, Anna; Cheek, John
Subject: RE: Tip of the day.

You can check out this link if you are interested:

http://www.scienceteecher.com/newmath0901.htm

Might I suggest the “Just du It” shirt…I think that should be our group running tee…

From: Steele, Angela
Sent: Thursday, October 25, 2007 11:00 AM
To: Harris, Eliza; Seeley, Anna; Cheek, John
Subject: RE: Tip of the day.

Extra geeky ... or extra AWESOME!!!?

Angela Steele

From: Harris, Eliza
Sent: Thursday, October 25, 2007 10:57 AM
To: Seeley, Anna; Steele, Angela; Cheek, John
Subject: RE: Tip of the day.

I’ll wear it next week so you can marvel at it. I also have a Limits shirt…but wearing that would just make me EXTRA geeky.

From: Seeley, Anna
Sent: Thursday, October 25, 2007 10:55 AM
To: Steele, Angela; Harris, Eliza; Cheek, John
Subject: RE: Tip of the day.

I think you would enjoy it more if you just saw it.

From: Steele, Angela
Sent: Thursday, October 25, 2007 10:54 AM
To: Harris, Eliza; Cheek, John; Seeley, Anna
Subject: RE: Tip of the day.

Pi-Rate shirt? That sounds math-y. Please explain.

Angela Steele

From: Harris, Eliza
Sent: Thursday, October 25, 2007 10:53 AM
To: Cheek, John; Seeley, Anna; Steele, Angela
Subject: RE: Tip of the day.

I’m more than willing to slack off as far as the running…haha. I totally blame the Pi-Rate shirt for giving me the running boost yesterday! I brought along leftover lasagna today, so I think I’ll pass on the subway. See you at 4:30 for a LESS intense workout.

From: Cheek, John
Sent: Thursday, October 25, 2007 8:51 AM
To: Seeley, Anna; Steele, Angela; Harris, Eliza
Subject: RE: Tip of the day.

HAHA,
Is this some subtle hint about our workouts? Eliza, stop being so intense. You’re scaring our friends from running with us. Ok ok, we should try to vary our workouts more, I agree. I tried to slow things down to the speed you wanted to run, so I’m sorry if you felt I wasn’t willing to change things up. Now, about that so called “tip of the day”…I looked it up myself and you seem to have tampered with the ending in some way. I can’t put my finger on it, but…I really don’t care. It made my laugh hard enough, wondering if the “alone and friendless” part was really in the actual Tip.

Ps- remember the days when their used to be 4 of us and we would all run (however fast) together? I miss those days. HOLA at my peeps!

Thanks,
John Cheek

From: Seeley, Anna
Sent: Thursday, October 25, 2007 7:26 AM
To: Steele, Angela; Cheek, John; Harris, Eliza
Subject: Tip of the day.

*** Today's Tip: A Complete Physical Activity Program
There are three parts of a physical activity program; aerobic exercise, strength training and flexibility. All three components don’t have to be part of the same workout session. Try to create a routine that fits into your schedule and one you can follow.
Commitment to a regular physical activity program is more important than the intensity of your workouts. Choose exercises you believe you are likely to pursue and enjoy. If you are lucky enough to have found workout buddies, don’t drive them away by forcing them to exercise at an unreasonable intensity thus demotivating them, and leaving you alone and friendless.

Unsubscribe?
If you wish to unsubscribe to the daily health tip of the day, tough cookies.

Not Again?

2007-10-12T16:44:00.000-06:00

"Good evening. Did you know your head light was out?"
"What? It is? Oh, man."
"I'm just going to tap on it; see if it comes on."
"Ok."
"It came on; there must have been a loose filament."
"It came on? Wow."
"Well, because it came on and it's working now, I won't write up any paper work. Just know that it's about to go out."
"Ok, Thank you very much officer."

Anna's Home Remedies

2007-09-28T13:59:00.000-06:00

To Cure the Blues:
1.) Get in your car.
2.) Pick your favorite sing along tune.
3.) Sing at the top of your lungs, until the blues fly away.

Thank You

2007-09-23T19:59:00.000-06:00

Thank you for being there when I needed you. Thank you for being unassuming and selfless. Thank you for telling me your thoughts and fears, and for listening to mine. Thank you for laughing with me and running with me. Thank you for not judging me or leading me astray. Thank you for giving me advice and leading me back to God. This thanks goes out to my friends and sisters in Christ.

Wish for what you have

2007-09-20T19:34:00.000-06:00

I had some kind of revelation tonight. I was here writing a post about something-or-other. Trying to focus my thoughts. Feeling a little selfish, and a little lonely, and wishing a little that things were different. Only a little, though. Then I realized, God had a plan when he brought me here, far away from all my friends. He had my good in mind when he decided I should remain single, even though he knew it would be hard, at times, to be surrounded by friends getting married and starting new lives that I couldn't relate to. And, God has a plan even now as he begins to surround me with new friends, so I won't feel so lonely; continued grace for when I'm being selfish; and the revelation to wish things were exactly how they are. I am lucky to belong to such a God.

Robert Matthew Van Winkle?

2007-09-18T20:43:00.000-06:00

The four friends were sitting at a stop light as the sounds of Vanilla Ice came through the window of the Chevy beside them. What started as a quite giggle soon had them all laughing, "Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it" assailing their ears. As the light turns green and the truck pulls out ahead, the laughter returns when they see the license plate, "ICE."

What is Anna up to now?

2007-09-15T21:17:00.000-06:00

Typical. After weeks of being unable to think of anything to say, I've decided to post, and I have so much to say I don't know where to begin. I must start off with the fact that I'm doing very well. God has been incredibly faithful. I know this shouldn't come as a surprise to me, but I am thankful. I have many friends, even one to go to church with. This was probably my biggest concern with moving to a new town, so it's a major answer to prayer.

Things are going well at work. A few weeks ago, I was temporarily loaned out to the foreign certifications group. What I've been doing can hardly be considered engineering, but I am learning a lot about how Cessna works and getting to play with Adobe Illustrator. Hopefully, when I get back to interiors, I'll be able to jump right in and go faster. I do miss my other cube though.

I've just switched to a 9/80 schedule. What is that you ask? Basically, it allows me to have every-other Friday off. I already have plans for my newly accumulated vacation. In October, I'm going to Texas to visit some very dear friends, and, the weekend after Thanksgiving, I'm going to Colorado to snowboard Keystone mountain for 36 hours straight. My biggest concern being that I won't remember how to snowboard when I get there.

Finally, now that the hard part is over (moving to and becoming acclimated in a new town), I have start to look towards the future. A house? A car? Where do I want to take my career? But what I'm really trying to focus on right now is a ministry. Prayer in this area would certainly be appreciated.

I want to live in the mountians

2007-09-06T19:06:00.000-06:00

Airplanes!

2007-08-27T20:44:00.000-06:00

Wichita Flight Festival

The Rea Baron Pizza Squadron

Red Eagle Air Sports

Patty Wagstaff

Me and a CJ3

Being Under the Weather

2007-08-22T20:19:00.000-06:00

I'm sick. It's some kind of congestion/flu/sore throat thing. My ears hurt too, on the inside. I've been to the Doctor, he says it's only a virus. I guess I should believe him. Please pray for me.

Making Friends

2007-08-12T21:05:00.000-06:00

I went to two BBQ's this weekend. The first was with people from work. Inevitably, this means beer and swearing were present. I'm just not used to this, but these are the people I work with and it just wouldn't be cool to alienate them. So, prayer please, that I would be able to let my light shine. The second was with people from Church. I have visited two churches so far. I could keep looking, or I could just stick. What do you think?

Discovery

2007-08-03T20:47:00.000-06:00

Isn't it funny when you wake up one day and find that something is not what you thought it was? It was lost or put away, and then it comes back but it's not what you remembered. It changed or you changed. Maybe there are some bad memories with the thing and your not sure you wanted to find it again, but there it is anyways. And, now that's it's back, the memories are farther away than you thought. What do you do then? Do you put it back in a box or put it up on your shelf? The thing is, what if you put it on the shelf and you look at it everyday and you fall back into the way it was? But, if you put it back in the box you might never get to find out what good could come of it in the future. However, like it's coming back, sometimes you don't get to chose what happens to it next.

Pictures

2007-07-28T22:24:00.000-06:00

Unfair?

2007-07-27T19:37:00.000-06:00

Some of you may be aware that I like a certain movie starring Davie Bowie and some Muppets. Well, a quote came to my mind just now from that movie. It resembles my thoughts on my life right now.

"She should have given up by now."
"She'll never give up."
"Won't she? She'll soon give up when she realizes she has to start all over again. ... Well, laugh."

Life on my own

2007-07-26T20:24:00.000-06:00

I had a dream the other night. Then, part of it came true. Later that day, I was talking to someone who said something rude to me. Meanwhile, my apartment is almost clean, I paid my first bill, and I love my apartment (pictures coming soon). I've met a lot of people. God has been faithful, it's not easy, but I'm at peace. Things are slowly becoming clearer. Who knows what I'll learn tomorrow?

Jackson Waters - Come Undone (Video)

2007-07-19T20:51:00.001-06:00

Work and School

2007-07-17T16:49:00.000-06:00

I keep trying to compare work to school, but they really are completely different. Even though I'm taking classes and eating lunch in a cafeteria. I'm also being paid and spending my evenings home work-free. Many people my age are contemplating furthering their education. And, if college has taught me one thing, it's how much I don't know. However, the thought of going back to all-nighters and endless to-do lists just does not appeal to me right now.

The smell of 7:30 AM

2007-07-06T23:11:00.000-06:00

I had the opportunity to go running this morning. The world smells fresh at this hour. As if the dark early hours of the morning have a way of scrubbing the earth clean. Even the birds can feel it; they sing of it at the top of their lungs. It's beautiful.

With all the honors, rights, and privileges pertaining thereto.

2007-06-30T22:25:00.000-06:00

To think of all the blood, sweat, and tears that went into such a short sentence, not to mention the sleepless nights. And yet... I am so privileged and thankful to have been provided the opportunity and funding to earn those 9 little words. I am a minority in this world and I pray that I will be able to accomplish all that is expected of me, for whom so much has been given.

Luke 12:48

God is AMAZING!

2007-06-27T12:36:00.000-06:00

I'm still in NE, but I've got the paperwork started for an apartment. Last weekend, I met with a local Realtor (paid for by Cessna), and she showed me around Wichita. I received an email from her today. Here is the amazing part:

Annie…. It was very nice to meet you in person last week, Where did you decide to live?I was telling my Sister you were the first new hire I had met that did go to church and I was excited to hear that, and I had told you about her singles group at her church…Well guess what?.... Recently a girl has joined in with them at the singles group and she is about your age, a new Engineer at Cessna - in interiors my Sister thought :o).Here’s my Sisters email, if you’d like to inquire: Oh… Here’s Melanie’s email also:

So, despite the realtor's inability to get my name right, it looks like I'm well on my way to finding some new friends at work and church, and maybe even an new church.
...What was I so worried about?

Gone

2007-06-19T00:15:00.000-06:00

That midnight conversation with a good friend that ends because the hour is late, the morning comes, the days move on, and they're gone and the chats along with them.

Waiting & Riding

2007-06-16T22:40:00.000-06:00

The day's are ticking by faster than I ever thought possible. And yet, the unknown could come faster. There is a lot to be nervous about, but the waiting... The sooner I get there, the sooner I can make friends and the unpleasant bit will be over. However, today I did get to go on a 4+ hr motorcycle ride with my dad. The buttsoreness was no fun, but I'm getting the hang of the bike. I now have it down so that I can put more energy towards enjoying the scenery.

The Last Year and a Quarter in Review

2007-06-13T23:33:00.000-06:00

I started blogging on February 26, 2006. Here are a few previous posts:

April 6, 2006
So, tonight I actually don't have any homework. I can't remember the last time that happened. Of course, I still have a major ton of things to finish in three weeks and two days!!!! But, now that this is my sixth last-three-weeks-and-two-days-to-finish-a-major-ton-of-things I'm really not that worried about it. In fact, I've been rather lethargic about the whole thing. If I'm this way now, what's it going to be like next year when I won't even have finals to worry about? Today Dr. Lee said if we're stressed about our classes and it's because we're not doing all that we can, that he would pray that God would increase our stress. I guess that means I'm about to get a whole lot more stressed. Well I should get to bed; I have to get up bright and early for EPM tomorrow. Otherwise known as story time with Mr. West.

March 31, 2006
So here I am in the Davis 3 hallway. I'm out here becuase the blasted wireless in my room is being spastic. Coffee is good stuff, friends are better, and when you mix them the result is bliss. I can't believe it's been two weeks since returning from Israel. I still can't get over how awesome that trip was. And, I really can't believe we only have four weeks of classes left!!! Next year I'll be a senior!!! Now if only I could figure out where I was going from here.

April 18, 2006
Today I took a nap, which is a very normal thing for me to do, and while I was napping, I had a dream. In my dream, I checked my email. Dr. Reynolds emailed the class and said that class was canceled the next day. Then, I woke up when Christina called for dinner. At dinner I asked Jacob if was excited about class being calcled. "What? I didn't get that email." he said. So, now I'm thinking maybe I dremt that???? Upon checking my email when I got back to my room, I found that indeed the email had all been a beautiful dream.

May 30, 2006
There seems to be somthing liberating about being on the open road with a map a cell phone and a creidt card. It's the feeling that I could do almost anything or go almost anywhere. I didn't, I went home, but just the feeling that I could. I tried to photograph some lighting tonight. It's not as easy as I thought it would be. I guess this is the best one.

January 15, 2006
Having a job lined up for my future is great. I'm excited to find an apartment, move, learn a new city. However, it makes the last semester of college go a lot slower. There's a lot going on here and I'm going to be busy, but I still can't wait for graduation. I'm going to miss my friends. Rome will be awesome. It's going to be scary meeting new people. I should just enjoy the time I have left with the people here. Christina, Lydia and I are learning to double dutch. We got into it after watching "Jump In", the new made for TV Disney movie.

April 29, 2007
I'll be in Rome in 8 days! So many things to do, I wonder when it'll hit me that it's over. Hum...

Something New (well sort of)

2007-06-11T23:34:00.000-06:00

I've been blogging on Xanga for almost a year now, and recently started a group blog with my apartment-mates. Now I'm moving everything here just to have it all together, unlike the rest of my life. Recent updates include Rome, Baja, and Cessna. Rome was awesome, Baja was Baja, and Cessna is about to begin. Pictures from Rome are posted at flickr.

Alone

2007-06-11T21:16:00.000-06:00

This song was in my Italy playlist, the songs of which will now always remind me of the rolling Italian country side. At first, I found this song depressing, but it's not. It is my take on the song that it is written as if God were sing the song to the listener. In the case, I resonate with the lyrics right now, so here they are:

And it's the saddest song you'll sing
When I'm alone with you
Your tears come down
You search your life for something new
And what you found is true
But now your gone

(Chorus)
Oh your alone
And I'm waiting here for you
Your alone
And I'm waiting here for you

All of the streets were alone with you
Well just to be with you
But now your gone
Fell in love with foolish things
Fell away from me
Now your gone

(Chorus)

And I'm waiting
And your jaw burn here
When you fail and your lost
And I'm waiting for you
Cause I know and you know

Not alone
And I'm waiting here for you
Not alone
And I'm waiting here for you
Oh no, not a lone
And I'm waiting here for you
Not alone, oh no when your not alone

~The Saddest Song
Until June

I'm back

2007-06-08T16:28:00.000-06:00

Hello there. I was out of it for awhile. What with graduation, Rome, and Baja I havn't really known what to do with myself. I think I was avoiding missing the people I left behind, but also avoiding making the connections whith the people in Wichita that I need. However, life has a way of forcing us to do the things were avoiding. For some reason, this last week with Baja has realy made me miss The Crusher. On the bright side, on Tuesday, Cessna contacted me and I am well on my way to becoming an offical employee. In exactly two weeks I will have an apartment and hopefully a department to work for. Yippy!

Intermission

2007-05-30T00:01:00.000-06:00

Italy was an experience like no other. I met people I've gone to school with for four years but never really got to know. I know that my personality even a year ago was not up to the challenge of making these kinds of friends. Still, I will miss those who I was just starting to get to know, and I will work harder to meet more people in Wichita. But for now, I'm hanging out between two era's of my life, missing the one I've left behind and hopeful for the one that's to come.

To Those Who Love

2007-05-01T23:52:00.000-06:00

It hasn't hit me yet. Graduation is in 2 days and some 28 hours. Yeah, The Crusher went out for dessert and took lots of pictures, but, today could be any other day. I'll be leaving soon, never to return to this place. I can come back to town, visit an alumni event, but it will never be this. I will miss this. I never really missed High School, but I will miss College.

Lists

2007-04-26T01:53:00.000-06:00

Life is made up of lists. At least my life is. Lately, I have been making a lot of "to-do" lists. I used a list of family members when addressing Graduation invitations. My packing list is already in my travel journal (which includes said journal). I have lists of who I am and who I think I am. Who I'm looking for and who I've found. What I like about my self and what I'd like to improve. People who have inspired me on and who have left an impression. Why my parents are the best I ever had. What I love about my Jesus. Lists are in my blood. I grew up on lists such as, "all the dogs I ever had" or "all the cars I ever had." I have a list of all the things I want to do before I die. I have a list of all the things I get to do after I'm dead... And so, I find that I am up at 3 in the morning making a list of lists. The list never ends, it goes on and on and on and on...

Train Of Thought or I Seem To Have Lost It...

2007-04-25T01:51:00.000-06:00

I had a thought, something I wanted to write about. Humm....
It's gone.

Here

2007-04-22T02:09:00.000-06:00

How did I get here? ...
By design
What's going on here? ...
Faith
When do I get to leave here? ...
Soon
Who's in charge here? ...
God
Where do I go from here? ...
Home

Words

2007-04-21T23:25:00.000-06:00

English Words Lyrics Guitar A Funky Beat Dance Music Laughter Dreams Hope Fear Wonder Vision Rhyme Jokes You Me Freedom Youth Maturity Love Faith Forgiveness Grace Kindness Soul Emotion Years Dream Understanding Closer Control Need Want People Today Conversation Clouds Sunset Mountains Speed Wind Sleep Patience Prayer Hug Complement Inspiration Change Life Joy Heart Fire Light Starts Endings Stars Moon Sing Angel Together Alone

Incoherently Decided

2007-04-19T01:31:00.000-06:00

It's so hard to describe the state I'm in right now. So near the end ... and the beginning. I'm ready to leave, but I'll miss so much once I do. Emotions all over the place. I can't be anyone but me, so any effort put towards being something else is just wasted. I know what I know. I've got all that I need. Why can't I make my ... heart? ... listen? I'm not ready. I need more time. This is my story. Words aren't enough. I can soar on wings like eagles. I can laugh and run. I am free! I'm thinking too much. I take for granted the wonderful things that have been handed to me. I can't know every thing. Conclusion: more prayer is needed.

If Your Into That Sort of Thing

2007-04-05T00:58:00.000-06:00

I'm finding this need to define myself. As evident throughout my latest posts. However, I also find a desire to add to who I am and to change who I'm not or don't want to be. Fro example I have recently added snowboarder to the list of things I am and I am working on showing kindness and love to everyone I meet. I feel like I've been grumpy and negative lately. Something I have been noticing about myself, but have conscientiously put a name to. I have an odd/goofy sense of humor that ranges from slap-stick to dead pan to sarcastic. I appreciate almost all types of humor except dirty or derogatory.

A Good Laugh and a Good Run

2007-04-02T14:43:00.000-06:00

Tonight was good. Christina and Lydia worked on their Hootenanny skit and came up with a part for me. It's a small part, but it will take courage. It requires yelling, so practicing got the adrenaline flowing. Lydia was in a funny mood too, and we go to giggling. I can't remember what about. It was funny though. I was on the floor at one point. The Laura came over to gunning with us. Laura just added to the craziness. It was great. It's what i love doing best, but I can't ever make it happen. It has to be spontaneous. In fact it's better when it is. Then we ran. Music pounding though my ears, pavement pounding on my feet. I could go anywhere. We want to do the Student Foundation 5K in a couple of weeks. Laura and I an 2 miles. It turns out 5K is only about 3 miles, so I think in a couple of weeks I could be ready. I'm excited. I only hope I have nothing going on that weekend. Late around 1 in the morning, Katy, Lydia and I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. And now I'm writing this. I feel like Jim Carry's character Joel, narrating his own life. Memories, that's what I want to keep. That's why I write these posts. When I'm feeling a strong emotion, or a big event has past that I'm afraid I might forget. My friend likes to blog because she can play around with the words until they say what she wants. Another friend says words have power. Printed words are always sending out their message even when your not reading them.

... To Be Continued

Post-its

2007-04-02T14:41:00.000-06:00

...
Same friend, English major, like to write papers on Post-its. It makes her feel closer to the paper, closer to the words. I've adopted her idea. I have already resigned my self to being a conglomeration of all the people I meet. I figure I should just embrace this and blatantly steal the quirks anyways. I justify it by giving credit. I know where and whom each of my quirks have come from. I've been taking Rome notes on Post-its. That seems to be going well. Also, I have just noticed that I am a list person. It seems like there always something I'm trying to remember.

Ask Heather about Bath and Bodyworks thing.
Buy a hat.
Work on Rome paper.
Buy salad stuff.

I like to blog or journal or whatever. Just to see what come out. I like to see where my thoughts take me. Because I have to slow my mind down a bit the thought take a little more ordered fashion. I don't go back, I just keep the pen moving. I watched a movie, The Sixth Sense, I believe. They called it free association writing, or something like that. Speaking of things I've been trying to remember. I've been meaning to write a post on this for a while.

I apologize, this is all very random. Know this, I was writing at 4 in the morning.

Notes

2007-03-28T20:31:00.000-06:00

Life is short. People everywhere. What is the meaning? Someone told me, recently, "a man is not in his prime till he is 50." He was quoting someone else. This same person then asked me, "your not ready to be married, are you?" At the time I couldn't answer. No, I'm not because I don't have anyone to marry. But, if someone had come along and we were at that point, all other things the same, then yes I would be married. But that's not the point. The point is no one has come along, and my time here at LeTourneau is coming to an end.

I used to be enthralled by the idea of love and a life long marriage. What girl isn't? It was the number one thing on my list of things I wanted most out of life. Now, I suddenly find it absent. I still hope to be married and to have a family... someday. But not today or even tomorrow. So many things: weddings I'm in, seeing brides all around, the state of marriage in this country today. It's all too much. When you start reading the Bible and praying powerful prayers God will change you. it was hardly less than six months ago, I told Lydia, "I really want a boyfriend, so bad it hurts." And now I"m thinking, why not wait until I'm 50? So many things I wouldn't have to worry about.

Wow! That all came spilling out. I don't think I even got to say it all. But now I have forgotten. I just find myself in a place of peace. Things are crazy and hectic, but I'm still at peace. I love people, I need to work on my social skills, but I just want to spend the next 20 years meeting people. My parents are only friends with each other. I find this so sad. I want more for them I want more for me. I have images running through my head of parties or gathering where I'm just surrounded by a good time and good people and good conversation. The is will not be easy to find, but I found it here at LeTourneau. I believe it's out there. I believe it exists in Wichita, and who know what's after that? Practically anything.

Personality

2007-03-27T16:46:00.000-06:00

I usually don't like personality tests. I don't like being put in a box like that, or having someone tell me what I'm like. However, I have take a couple in the past months. First I took the Myers-Briggs online test. The first time I took it I was an ISTJ. This was about a month ago. Then taking it again about a month ago I was an INTJ. Lastly, I found an imaginative personality test who's results can be seen below. In the end I took the results of these three and made my own assessment. So, here we go:

To outsiders, you may appear to project an aura of "definiteness", of self-confidence. This self-confidence is sometimes mistaken for simple arrogance. As do other Introverted Thinkers, you often give the initial impression of being aloof and perhaps somewhat cold. Effusive expression of emotional warmth is not something that you do without considerable energy loss.

When you think of freedom – you think of energy and activity, exploring you boundaries and pushing limits. You try not to have regrets. You like to take the plunge: this attitude will give them a wealth of experience. For kicks nothing beats an adrenaline rush. You like to take risks and push limits… you’re confident and brave – life is for the living. Always on the go, you take in as much as you can. Nothing beats high altitude. You have a pioneering attitude to life- always moving onto the next challenge. When it comes to art, You appreciate natural beauty.

When it comes to your own areas of expertise -- and you can have several -- you will be able to tell you almost immediately whether or not you can help someone, and if so, how. You know what you know, and perhaps still more importantly, You know what you don't know. You are most at home with "just the facts, Ma'am." You seem to perform at highest efficiency when employing a step-by-step approach. In the broadest terms, what you "do" tends to be what you "know". Typical your career choices will be in the sciences and engineering, with a seemingly endless capacity for improving upon anything that takes your interest. You find it hard to switch off, as you like to learn all the time. You possess the unusual trait combination of imagination and reliability.

You apply the criterion "Does it work?" to everything from your own research efforts to the prevailing social norms. This in turn produces an unusual independence of mind, freeing you from the constraints of authority, convention, or sentiment for its own sake. Anyone considered to be "slacking," including superiors, will lose their respect. You are easily frustrated by the inconsistencies of others, especially when the second parties don't keep their commitments. But you usually keep their feelings to yourself unless you are asked.

On the other hand, you do tend to be scrupulous and even-handed about recognizing the individual contributions that have gone into a project, and have a gift for seizing opportunities which others might not even notice. You have a keen sense of right and wrong, especially in their area of interest and/or responsibility. You are noted for devotion to duty. Punctuality is your watchword.

While you are capable of caring deeply for others (usually a select few), and are willing to spend a great deal of time and effort on a relationship. For you love is about long-term commitment, it means devotion and tenderness. You tend to have little patience and less understanding of such things as small talk and flirtation. You really want people to make sense. You are usually extremely private, and can often be naturally impassive as well, which makes you easy to misread and misunderstand.

As for music, it’s the soundtrack to your world. An open road, your favorite tracks – clichés are there to be enjoyed!

Something New

2007-03-23T00:18:00.001-06:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

A Post on Posting

2007-03-21T23:03:00.000-06:00

I started this blog about 3 months ago - not that long in the blogging world. I was reading a little over my old stuff, and I actually impress myself. Not that my stuff is great, but it's good for me. I have a xanga that I've had for about a year, but I moved over here for a little anonymity. My xanga has degenerated into a bland listing of current events in my life. There are those who read it, however, so I keep it going. But, now I face a quandary. Knowing my audience is limited helps the creative juices to flow, but I also have this desire for people to read my stuff. Harumph.

A Hippy Rabbi Ski Bum

2007-03-19T23:49:00.000-06:00

This year, I had the privileged of crossing paths with a most interesting person. I did almost nothing to bring about our meeting. I find this to be important for two reasons. First, some of the most amazing people that I have met and life paths I have followed have come about through no action of my own. (My Parents, The Crusher Girls, LeTourneau, and Cessna to name a few.) Second, when I take matters into my own hands I usually tend to mess everything up. So, Christina was coming to Colorado, I wanted us to be at the same skill level, the most logical thing to do was to take snowboarding lessons. Enter: Ski Bum, A thirty seven year old Rabbi. He taught us to snowboard. For whatever reason I took to it like a fish to water. I was the best in out class and soon affectionately labeled teacher's pet by my dear friend Christina. The thing was, she was not far off. I was given praise, told I could easily skip lesson 2 and move on to 3. On top of this I was told I was "a sweet girl", beautiful, and his favorite student all season. In good by I was given a hand squeeze and a kiss on the cheek. We talked about things that mattered. I was able to tell him I was a Christian, and a little of what that meant to me. He told me about Rabbinical school, and his hippy days. There I things I didn't get to say, but there are things that I did. I may never see him again. He will probably forget me sooner than I will forget him. He has left an impression that will linger in the back of my mind for sometime. The rest I leave in the hands of God. If we do meet again it will His doing again. I can only pray that I have helped cultivate a seed planted long ago, and that someone else will follow me to reap what has been sown. Then, some day not far off, we will get to meet again, and I we will get to be friends.

Hugs

2007-03-19T16:18:00.001-06:00

I've been struggling with something. I've had a few rough days in the last month, despite everything being pretty much great. I know that God is and provides everything I could ever need, a lot of what I want, and a whole lot of what I couldn't even imagine. However, sometimes, when I'm feeling low, all I really want is a hug or a comforting word. There is no one around to give this to me. I tell God everything, he is always there, always listening. He leads me in this life and imparts his strength to me. But, I have never felt his arms around me or his hand on my shoulder...
... or have I? Yes it is true that Jesus cannot physically come down and give me a hug. God cannot call me on the phone and give me a comforting word. But, God had made us relational people, and he knows we cannot live with out fellowship with fellow humans. I think maybe, when I hear that song that speaks to my heart, it is God speaking to my heart. And, when that friend holds my hand or puts their arms around me.. those are also the arms of Jesus.

Criptic Evidence

2007-03-13T21:24:00.000-06:00

It's funny how my perception of past events changes. I'm notorious for over-analyzing everything. But, as is usually the case, not nearly enough evidence is provided to come to any rational conclusion. So, I usually settle for the irrational and this is a tricky business. Once in a great while, however, the opportunity arises for new evidence to be collected. Now, when I look back at the original problem things start to become a little clearer.

Convictions

2007-03-12T00:02:00.000-06:00

I have been inspired to be ... myself. My ever-changing beautiful self. There are things to change, certainly. And God will always be working in me. But, such confidence and grace that comes from contentment and self-esteem. The contentment and self-esteem that comes from confidence and grace. Self-evaluation is a scary thing, but when God is with me I can find the strength. It started way back when as an out-of-no-where decision to attend a college 12hrs from home. I met friend after friend who showed me the kind of person I wanted to be. I met some people who showed me who I had been in High School and was glad I was no longer. I met people I vowed never to be like. Then I met someone in the strangest of places who showed me that I was who I wanted to be. I am not perfect and the journey is not over. I will cherish those friends who have influenced my life, and given me a new found respect for what I already was. I am discovering blessings given ages ago and are more thankful today than at the time of their receiving. With help, I have taken control of a part of my life never previously properly fought for. I still fall, I still fail, but I know the truth. I know who I am and whose I belong to.

E - - 1/4 - - 1/2 - - 3/4 - - F

2007-03-05T23:49:00.000-06:00

I find myself being shown the same things over and over. One day I'm given an amazing revelation, and the next I've forgotten all about it and I'm left wondering where I went wrong. It's hard to be close to someone really neat, and know that they don't see you the way you see them. I just want to be myself (that is, who God created me to be). As long as I'm accomplishing/focused on that... the rest of the world starts falls away. Yes, I still want certain things. I can't say that I'm ready to give up. What I can say is this, I know I will be no less of a person if I don't get what I want. My heart is already full.

Thoughts on a Difficult Day

2007-03-02T13:17:00.000-06:00

Bad day the other day. Many different things culminated to a breaking point. People can and will let you down. I will let people down. The key is how to deal when this happens. Do I fight back? Do become defensive? Or, do I take the criticism apologize and move on?

I want attention. This is a very blunt and selfish statement. You must understand, my introverted nature does not require me to be the center of attention all the time, or even some of the time. I am fine with being a wall flower. But sometimes is nice to be notice. It would be nice to have someone special. It would be nice to be someone’s special. I have best friends. I have that one person I would go to first, but I’m no one’s “first-to-go-to.” However, as previously mentioned people let you down. And, my “someone special” would eventually let me down. So, what’s the point?

Last night I had a good conversation with God. I asked some hard questions. He got me through. He was “go-to.” As he should be. Usually it is only until later that I realize it was God who got me through. But, last night I went into the moment knowing God was going to get me through. He was with met he whole time. May loneliness had nothing to do with him. This made the moment more of a stress reliever than an utter meltdown. What an amazing God I serve!

Work In Progress (please excuse the mess)

2007-03-02T04:00:00.000-06:00

This school year had been marked by self discovery. Along with this has also come a rise in self esteem.

Things I am:

Child of God
Creative
Easy Going
Mature
Beautiful

Things I like:

Laughing
Snowboarding
Photography
Reading
Skiing

Things I do:

Engineering
Run
Talk to myself
Speed in my bug

interrupted dreams

2007-02-28T04:20:00.000-06:00

dream:

1.	a succession of images, thoughts, or emotions passing through the mind during sleep.

2.	the sleeping state in which this occurs.

3.	an object seen in a dream.

4.	an involuntary vision occurring to a person when awake.

5.	a vision voluntarily indulged in while awake; daydream; reverie.

6.	an aspiration; goal; aim: A trip to Europe is his dream.

7.	a wild or vain fancy.

8.	something of an unreal beauty, charm, or excellence.

I love waking up after a good dream. The kind of dream where I just want to go back to sleep so I can finish it. However, my dreams are not always good. Sometimes I wake up and am immensely relieved that none of it was real.
I tend to day dream a lot. I run through future conversations as if to practice. I go through "what if?" situations in my mind. Usually, though, I find these impractical. Nothing ever seems to turn out the way I imagine.
I have many dreams in life. Things I hope to accomplish one day. Ideas that I hope to put into practice. Even dreams about who I am becoming as a person.
God also has dreams. He has big things planned for me. Things so much bigger than anything I could come up with. I was reminded the other day that we frequently let our little dreams get in the way of God's big ones. We are our "own worst enemy" as it were. The amazing thing about God is that he doesn't give up on us. And, more amazingly, he doesn't let us give up on our selves.

Stories

2007-02-26T00:31:00.000-06:00

I was looking through pictures of my friends on facebook tonight. Pictured are the good times people have shared for the world to see. Or maybe just to remind those involved. Stories hit me from every direction. I wanted to go to each of my friends and make them tell me the story behind each picture. I wanted to have been there in each story, to have experienced it myself. I think of the stories I would share with them. It amazes me how each of us is on our own little path, and throughout our lives our path crisscrosses with the paths of those we meet. I think about the same things when I'm people-watching. The airport is the best place to people-watch. I amuse myself by imaging the "back-story" of each person. Where have they come from and where are they going. Some people I would love to sit down and get to know. Usually, I walk around consumed by my own little world. Then, for a brief moment I catch a glimpse of all that is going on around me.

Singing In The Car

2007-02-24T03:48:00.000-06:00

There is no better cure for a cruddy day, than to get away in my car. I pretend I'm not one of those painful-to-watch performers on American Idol, and sing all my favorite songs at the top of my lungs. Sometimes there is even a little dance to go along. I feel safe that no one can see me when I'm driving back from the machine tool lab at 3 in the morning. When driving through intense rush hour traffic on my way home from school, my most favorite song is Time is ticking away by dcTalk. It gets me pumped, and I can make lane changes I would, otherwise, never be able to make. When I've had a bad day, and I'm heading out to Starbucks, I like to play Newsboys or, lately, Rascal Flatts. The best song ever for running is Come On to the Future by Skillet. My favorite band is usually what ever I'm currently into. I listen to songs so many times I get sick of them and don't listen to them again until three years later when their rediscovered. I believe music is helps the soul to fly, can be a gateway to another reality, and opens our hearts to hear words from God.

Up Late, Obligation, and Optimism

2007-02-20T01:17:00.000-06:00

I was in the machine tool lab till 6 last night. As a result I slept all day, and now here I am up late again. Moving through my thoughts, processing God's voice and my situation. The situation I find myself it is no accident. God's voice is real to me, in a book, in a song, in a still small voice. He says when I ask for something and believe, nothing is impossible. I can even throw a mountain into the sea. God answers my prayers everyday. He has also said no. I have asked for something big. Something wonderful and scary. Something amazing and lofty. I deserve nothing, this is nothing new. I am God's and he is what makes me worthy of any blessing. I guess I just don't know what happens if I believe and have faith, and it doesn't happen. Then what? Did I not have enough faith, or did I hear God wrong? How will that effect my relationship with God? Will I ever be able to pray for anything big again? But, these questions show doubt. If I just believe that it will happen, then they are a moot point. Most of this is so out of my hands anyway. It's not what do I do, but how do I respond. Wisdom is key. I refuse to let the outcome of this affect my relationship with my unchanging God. With this being said, I have nothing to lose by believing in the outcome of my prayer. God is first and everything. I will only come out the other side closer to him.

Machine Shop Reflections

2007-02-11T00:22:00.000-06:00

I am sitting here watching the slow movement of the band saw through the aluminum. My eyes glaze over watching the trickle of coolant through the metal shavings, and my mind begins to wander to the vague emotions running through my veins...
Indecision: It has been a long day, getting up too early, finding the plans I was looking forward to have been canceled, making unappreciated cookies, spending to many hours on my feet. I don't want to leave with so much work still to do and not so many people there to help, but hate staying. Afraid that I am staying for the wrong reasons. I want to hang out with my friends, who I haven't seen all weekend, but want to help and be a good friend in a different sort of way...
Insanity/Insecurity: I wish that I would get hurt so that I would have an excuse to get away from it all. Like now, if I put my hand in the band saw and had to be rushed to the hospital. Whoa, wait a minute, that's a little extreme. Then I realize the real reason I want to get hurt is so that people will pay attention to me. Attention! what kind of selfish talk is this? From me? I'm, by nature, an extraordinarily introverted. I never do anything for attention. And, if I ever really got what I think I want, well I would hate it, and I know it...
Disappointment: I had hoped for something different today. I had looked forward to it. Today was good in its own right, nothing much to complain of, but it wasn't what I wanted. I have also begun to hope for something which is very distant and very assured. Very likely to cause me pain in the future no matter which way it turns out. Why can't I be happy with the blessing I do have, without always wanting more?
The coolant comes back into focus, and the blade is nearing the mark. My mind and hands return to more corporeal tasks as life resumes it's natural pace. Much has been done today, and tomorrow is new. Comfortable friends and easy laughter await. Who knows what is to come. Accomplishment is the feeling that I am left with, and this is nothing to be blue about.

Gift from God

2007-02-07T01:44:00.000-06:00

Since taking the job with Cessna, I have been wondering. Did I take the easy way out? How can I be a "good Christian" when things are given to me so easily? I have also been thinking about my hobbies, and my choices for spring break this year. Can snowboarding really be apart of God's plan for my life? Can I use this talent to further God's kingdom? Well, I've been told "yes." I'm trying desperately to hold onto that, to have faith in that. Tonight, I found an answer to some of the questions I have been asking. I found it in a book of the Bible I wouldn't have expected: Ecclesiastes. The "a time for everything" passage is well known to most people familiar with the Bible. What I found is what come after that passage.

"What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him."*

There is another verse in 5:18, that continues this thought. This is very uplifting. God still has amazing thing planned for me that I cannot fathom. I do not think that I will not experience trials or hardships in my life, but he has made everything beautiful in its time.

*Ecclesiastes 3:9-14

Laughter

2007-02-06T00:29:00.000-06:00

My favorite past time is laughing with friends. I did a lot of that today. Today was a good day.

I can't sleep.

2007-02-01T01:50:00.000-06:00

This is a weird semester. I have very little homework. I sleep a lot, which makes it hard to go to sleep at night. I'm was listening to my iPod in bed, finally feeling like I could post here. Feeling like I need to post here. So I got up and came over to my desk. I generally don't like to write, but I've been doing a lot of it lately. I keep a prayer journal and post to two other blogs. I like this one best, because no one I know of reads it. It makes it easier to write things.
I feel like I want to cry, but I have nothing to cry about. Life is good, I have great friends and my immediate future is all figured out. I am thankful for the things I have, and I know this peace won't last. God never promised this life would be easy, but then why does it seem as though my life has been. It's like I'm just waiting for something bad to happen, so that I can grow in my faith. I struggle with things, little things. But, God is faithful. He is working with me through them. I am growing closer to God, Jesus, My Savior everyday. I can feel him in my life, and am hearing him in a way I have never before. But, this too, will not last. He is always near, but I won't always feel it. I will relish these moments while they are here. I'm thinking about the last four years. So many things have changed, so many memories, so many mistakes, so many good jokes. I have changed, mostly for the better. I have so much life left to live. I have so many memories still to record. I am excited and fearful about my future, but putting that aside for now; trying to soak in these precious moments I have left at school. For the first time in awhile, I don't have a crush on any boy. I think more about the people I want to lead to God, than about whether or not some boy finds me attractive. I know that I am beautiful, but still finding it out. I am God's creation, and God comes first in my life. He is what makes me different, unique, me. It seems like nothing in life is ever concluded. I will always be learning, growing, figuring out who I am and who God is. My faith will always be growing. I will always be getting to know new people and trying to keep in touch with the old. People come and go, and I stay here on the path set before me. Hopefully I will see most of them in Heaven, for eternity. But, some of them I won't. A song by downhere comes on my iPod that reflects how I feel. This is the chorus:

As I wander the streets of gold
Talk to all the friends I've known
We'll go adore the Master King,
Then only then I'll be breathing in.

Third Person

2007-01-27T16:27:00.000-06:00

Once upon a time there lived a young girl. She always wanted to know the future. Sometimes she would ask God specific questions about her future. Usually they were yes or no questions. Is he "the one"? Will he call? Sometimes she would get answers to these questions, but she was always wary when the answer was the one she wanted. She was afraid that maybe she was projecting her own feelings and not actually hearing the voice of God. She wondered how to keep her heart and her motives true. At other times she would imagine her future; what she would wear or who she would meet. However, she noticed that whatever she imagined was never the way it turned out. She began thinking maybe by imagining she was erasing that particular scenario from existence, so that it could never happen. Also, she had been hurt by putting too much hope in one particular scenario. Her emotions would tell her things that wern't true, and so she began to distrust those as well. But, many good things frequently happened to her. Some of the most beautiful things were the one's she never saw coming. But, she came to realize a few things.
1.) Nothing happens overnight. Sometimes she wakes up from life to realize that she's not the person she used to be, but after looking back over the weeks and months she sees the gradual change that had been occurring.
2.) There will always be an unknown future ahead and she must trust God in his plan, and always be open minded and ready to accept his change to her plans.
3.) Sometimes God does say "yes", but accepting this answer can be just as hard or even harder to accept than the "no."
Now, her story is not over. This young women will continue to live and to grow. Someday soon she may take another stop to look around, and the view will have completely changed. She knows that the view from there will be better than the view from here.

Plans

2007-01-18T01:19:00.000-06:00

Today, I was reminded, again, that God has a plan for my life. I don't really know what this plan intails, or where it will take me, but I know that this plan does exist. "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"* I was also reminded, today, that some of the best things that will happen to me in this life, I'll never see them coming. I can make my own plans, and they might work out, but in the end I need to make room for God's Plan.
Right now, I sit here, wondering if I've made the right decision about Cessna. There are many other things that interest me, that I would like to do and accomplish. Have I given up on these other things? Or, have I simply put them aside for now? Maybe I have put them aside to make room for God's plan. Many great things await me in Wichita. All I need is trust in God.

*Jeremiah 29:11

Somewhere

2007-01-15T21:53:00.000-06:00

Have you ever been somewhere quite, and felt like screaming? Have you ever felt like running when you had to sit still? Have you ever wanted something to be over, and had time move like molassas? This is how I feel. Stagnent, discontent, frustrated, like something is on the verge of happening, but it hasn't yet. I wish I was more... and less. I want to do something, go somewhere, meet someone.

People

2007-01-05T00:10:00.000-06:00

Throughout this life we will meet many people. Some, like our relatives, we have known our whole lives. And, for most of us we don't get to choose who these people are. Then there are the people, who are our friends. These are the people we choose to surround ourselves with. And, then there are the random people we meet, who we may only know for a short while, but can still have an impact on our lives. I am a shy person by nature, so for me these last type of people are rare. I met one last week. I can't stop thinking about this person. Why was this person put in my life? What can I learn from our short encounter? What is it about our short meeting that I can't get out of my head? This person made me laugh, feel good about myself, have fun, and learn. This person shifted my world view just a little bit. I don't know if I'll ever see or talk to this person again. Our meeting was such that it might be a little strange if we were to ever meet again, but I hope we do.

A Fork In The Road

2006-12-28T18:49:00.000-06:00

I got a job offer from Cessna. Do I take it? This job has sort of fallen into my lap. I handed out several resumes at the career fair, and this was the only company that wanted an interview. A week after Thanksgiving they flew me up to Wichita, KS and I had an informal though informative interview. It turned out to be one of those interviews where they try to convince me I should be working there instead of finding out why I would be the best candidate for the position. Needless to say, I came away from the interview uncertain of how it went. And, about a week ago they over -nighted me an offer and some paperwork to fill out if I want the job. I have till January 17 to decide. Wichita is not a bad city, and I think I would really enjoy working for the company. So what is the problem? I sort of had this idea that maybe I would like to do architectural engineering. Continue school for one more year, get a masters and then start my career. Do I want to give that up? Not taking this job would be a huge reliance on God thing. A step into the dark. I don't think I am incapable of taking this step, but is this the direction I want to go? My grades this last semester weren't so hot, and now I'm not even sure I could get into the program I was looking at. To walk on water, one has to get out of the boat. Metaphorically speaking. But, who's to say taking the job is getting out of the boat any more than not taking the job. I've never lived on my own, and been responsible for all my finances. Moving to a new place with new people, that's still very scary. Exciting but also scary. I think, I'll do it. Take the job and see where that road takes me. This doesn't have to be my career. Five years or so, who knows what could happen by then.